HOW I DID IT
How I Made $0 From Writing in 30 Days
And what it took to get there
I have the skills, because I’ve read every article about writing, you can find online.
I have the motivation: I tell everybody, whether he asks me or not, that I’m a successful writer already. The law of attraction baby.
And — most importantly — I have the right mindset: I know, that writing is an easy and fast way to make money online. Every next door Humpty Dumpty can become a millionaire overnight with just a few published articles online — so why not me?
In the last 30 days, I’ve made exactly $0 from writing.
It was after doing an audit of my expenses for the month that I realized, “Holy shit, there’s $0 of income just from writing!”
So here’s the deal: If I can’t make money from writing, you definitely can’t do it either. The reason for this article is that the most common questions I still get are:
- How do I get started?
- How does typing words actually make money?
So without any fluff, BS, broken promises, dreams of Ferraris and selfies with Richard Branson, I’m going to tell you the answer to these two questions after successfully making $0 / month for more than twenty years.
Ready? Let’s go.
Getting Started
I want to make this so easy that you can’t screw it up.
Don’t pick a topic
If you want to be as successful as I am, don’t pick a topic to write about. Write about anything and everything, that comes to your mind. Write about your lunch on one day, and about world economics the next. People will love you for who you are not for what you write about.
Write whenever you feel like it
The muse doesn’t stick to a schedule and neither should you. When the right time to write your article comes, you’ll feel it. Some days you’ll just wake up and feel pumped up to crank out 10.000 words that day. You only need 2–4 of these days per month, and BOOM writing career!! Don’t force it.
Do it for the money
Writing is a great way to make easy, quick money. But you have to want it. Don’t sell yourself short by writing for free. You should keep every nugget of wisdom you know to yourself, until someone pays you for it. Everybody can write online for free, but professional writers know their worth. Stephen King doesn’t give away his writing for free and neither should you. I mean, why are you writing, if not for the money? Without the pleasure of a full bank account, you’ll most likely give up.
Write as much as you can
The good thing about being a writer is that you can write about experiences, instead of experiencing them. Life doesn’t write the best stories, you do. So don’t waste your gift travelling the world, working out or spending time with your family. Instead, write about these things! That way, you can learn all the lessons, without the hassle of leaving your desk.
Use your own platform
You need to have your own website from day one! Creating your brand, deciding on colors, fonts and templates is absolutely essential, before you can start your writing career. If you don’t pay a professional web developer, you will never make $0 / month writing like I do. Why would someone read your article, if he didn’t spend one hour finding your website on page 16 of Google search results? Those are the true fans you need as a writer and they’ll only find you, if your website looks absolutely stunning.
Spend a Stupid Amount of Time Promoting in the Beginning
So much of my time at the start was wasted writing books and articles, that nobody read.
Wherever you are starting from, you need to find your audience first. Otherwise, all the beautiful words you write, will go to waste.
There is no substitute for doing the promotion: giving interviews in podcasts, pitching major publications and — the mightiest of all — setting up your paid ads. If I could go back in time the way Marty McFly did in Back To The Future and do one thing differently, it would be to stop wasting so much time writing, before I found an audience to read it.
The reason we avoid doing the promotion is because it’s the hardest bit. Doing the promotion, though, and not wasting any time writing at all, is what made me the $0 in 30 days — not anything else.
Format Doesn’t Do Shit
My first articles were neatly formatted with paragraphs and everything. Even an eight-year-old could have read them, without getting an headache. But, guess what, eight-year-old aren’t my target audience. Therefore, all these backspaces and empty lines where a huge waste of time, energy and processing power. Don’t make the same mistakes, I did. Fuck white space and leave out images all together. You’re a writer, not an image-picker. Did you notice, that there’s not a single image in any of the Harry Potter books? There are also no bullet points, sub-headings or numbered lists. You’ve read them anyway, didn’t you? So did millions of other people. What’s good enough for J.K. Rowling, is good enough for me.
Making MONEY
To be honest, I don’t understand, why there are so many books and articles out there talking about how to make money writing. It’s pretty easy, right?
1. You wait for your muse.
2. You write an article or two.
3. You buy some ads and spend every waking minute promoting said article.
4. You wait for the millions of bucks to flood your bank account.
I made $0 writing last month and every month before that for the past twenty years consistently. So take my advice, if you want to be an over-night success, like so many millions of writers before you. It’s the easiest way to make a quick buck, once you get the hang of it.
Well-Paid Writers Have Lots of the Following
One final bit of advice is not to forget the soft skills.
- Greed
- Arrogance
- Dishonesty
These are the skills that take you from an amateur writer to a pro earning $0. No one wants to read the work of a writer who is too lovey-dovey to know how to take care of themselves and their — financial — needs.
Be yourself in all its glory.
That’s How to Make $0 in 30 Days
Now all that is left is to ask yourself whether you would like to do the same — because you totally can.
If a tested genius like me can make $0 in 30 days, then you can at least give it a try.
Remember to ask for money first and write only, when you have to and when you get paid, what you’re worth.
Note: This article is a cheep imitation / parody of Tim Dennings article “How I Made $11,000 From Writing in 30 Days”. His original article is obviously way better and way more helpful than mine, so make sure to check it out here.
